His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
