I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize