dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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