There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
