Cold hands, warm shart.
In America we eat man semen.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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