got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
