well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
