i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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