I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize