You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
