I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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