I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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