just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
