how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Found your dick twin last night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
