Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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