I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
