how can u be prego again
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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