Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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