he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize