Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
