hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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