just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
