Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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