I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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