did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
