the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
