Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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