to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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