There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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