That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please come you make the beer taste better
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
