I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
