Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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