dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
