i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
