we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize