sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
