What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
