I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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