My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize