Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
