She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
