She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
