Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize