Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize