Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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