it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
