why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
