IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
