I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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