He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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