I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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