Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
