would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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