dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
