threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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