just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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