that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize