I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
