i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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