I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I want to be your penis for a week.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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