So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize