i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
